INTRODUCTION

You have worked hard for most of your adult life.  During this time, you often sacrificed time for yourself so that you could get a good education, marry, provide for your family and progress in your career.  As you look towards the next stage of your life, you dream about having more time for yourself to do the things that you never had time to do in previous decades.   You find yourself fantasizing about traveling, hobbies, physical activities, sports, intellectual pursuits, etc.  After you retire from your job/career, you are sure that you will settle into a life of leisure with no schedule, no shoulds and oughts, no deadlines or goals.  Finally, you believe that you will be free.

For many current and recent retirees, this has been the Old Retirement of their parents' generation and generations that have preceded them. This is what has been called a "Retirement to Leisure".  Unfortunately, after about a year or so, many retirees end up feeling like there is something seriously wrong with this dream that they have always had.  Many feel like they are on a boat adrift at sea with no course, no identified ports to visit and no purpose.  Often, there seems to be a conflict between wanting to be idle and relaxed and staying engaged with some degree of purpose.  How do you find a healthy balance between these two conflicting objectives?

LEISURE DEFINED

The dictionary defines leisure as the "freedom or opportunity to do something different; an opportunity afforded by unoccupied time; the state of having time at one's own disposal".  Leisure, as defined by Richard Johnson in his book, the New Retirement, reflects a newer generation's attitude. He states that leisure is "the degree to which you have found personally satisfying endeavors outside of your work/career arena which rejuvenate your body and/or stimulate your mind and/or enrich your spirit".  This is a concept of engagement and not the disengagement attitude of previous generations. He believes that everyone should be engaged in activities and interests that reflect who they really are.  Two other authors, Bill Sadler, Ph. D and James Krefft, Ph. D. recently completed a book entitled "Changing Course".  In their research for the book, they discovered that the Greeks defined leisure as an opportunity for developing a full life with more freedom and reduction of necessity.  

When one reflects on these various definitions, it is no wonder that Retirement and Leisure have been so closely linked at the exclusion of many other important aspects of retirement.  Taking a balanced approach, it is important to remember that one person's play is another's work.  Because we are all unique individuals, we will each define leisure in our own way. Without our own personal definition, we will be missing out on one of life's opportunities to explore our many, less obvious gifts.

VACATION VS. LEISURE

All of us have been on vacation many times throughout our lives.  We all have

discovered that a vacation is a great way to "vacate" the busy, stressful activities of daily living and to relax and enjoy the time away.  As we experience this bliss, we think that this is the way retirement should and will be.  Because our current life is so complex and busy, we romanticize that in retirement we could easily do this on a daily basis.  Unfortunately, the reality is that after retiring, many could find themselves entrapped in a leisurely lifestyle that is not working for them and they do not know why.  They have "Retired to Leisure".

Recently, my husband and I were in Tampa at our condo and I was leisurely sitting on the balcony enjoying the view and the warmth of the setting sun.  In spite of my knowledge and training, I began to think the very same thoughts. "Wow, relaxing like this would be great full-time with no pressures and stresses.  I could do this forever."  I realized that it is very natural to think these thoughts as long as you can come back to the reality that anything that you do all of the time can be like work and lose its appeal.  As I thought about the implications of such a lifestyle, I quickly came back to the reality that this lifestyle would not work for me on a month to month basis.  In my private practice, I have seen many people retire this way, which, consequently, has led to emotional difficulties, depression and lack of purpose.

WHAT IS A LEISURELY RETIRMENT?

One of the attractions to Coaching for me was that it not only reflected the values in my current life's work as a psychotherapist but it could help me create a life with more time and space as I transitioned to a modified retirement lifestyle.

As I trained for my Life/Retirement Coach certification, it was apparent to me from the beginning that defining the best lifestyle for me would require more attention than I had given it in the past.  I had put so much of my identity, time and energy into my career that there was little time to explore more leisure pursuits.  However, since I began to diversify my life by adding a variety of leisure activities, I am experiencing more joy, excitement and pleasure than I have known in my life.  A leisurely retirement, coupled with the discovery of and integration of a variety of activities that reflect who you are, will bring enjoyment and satisfaction into your life.

The challenge for all of us is to discover what kind of leisure would work best in our unique retirement?  What will help us to discover who we really are without having a career to define our identity?  We can still work, but we must do it in a way that creates the freedom to discover other interests and areas of self exploration.

IDEAS TO CONSIDER

Here are some thoughts to consider in defining leisure for you.

1. No matter what stage of life you are in, be sure to integrate leisure into your life so that you can carry those activities into retirement
2. Be aware that stress can be created by under-loading your lifestyle as well as overloading it.
3. Any leisure that becomes a full time endeavor is no longer leisure but has taken the place of a job.
4. Leisure provides the gift of serenity, creativity, exercise, intellectual stimulation and rejuvenation and the opportunity of discovering your authentic self.
5. Leisure is only one aspect of retirement as there are many more aspects to be integrated into you lifestyle.

In my next newsletter, I will explore more aspects of leisure that may assist you as you explore this concept more thoroughly now and in your own retirement lifestyle.

Please feel free to contact me at 703-435-2273 or email me at deedeelpc@aol.com if I can be of assistance to you in this exciting and challenging stage of your life.